The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry

 I began September 2021 here and in my personal life with a quote from Sarah Perry's beautiful novel, The Essex Serpent. It is quote that I scheduled many weeks ago. I knew September was going to be the month I returned to writing and blogging. And that quote is literal. One cannot make serious changes without sacrifices and losses, without rearranging things. And changes don't come over night. They take months and years and I started changes many months ago, some as far as fall in 2018. The Essex Serpent is one of my favorite novels of all time, and that says a lot. It's brilliant, stuffed with all kinds of ideas and with one really focused plot and structure. In some ways I am posting this because this novel is not without sorrow and loss and pain and I have felt those things so deeply. But it is also about regeneration. And that is the important part, how we all deal with our issues and how we move forward. I have sold my soul, in order to live as I must, my conscience and morals remain, but I did seek therapy and my therapist said I must no longer deny some things about myself, positive things actually, not the weaknesses but the strengths. I often hide them because I do not like the public gaze, nor do I need praise or validation. I am very much loved as a human being, as a mother and grandmother, as a friend. My work over the years validates my efforts at work and also I work with "purpose" and not "achievement."  Another thought from the beautiful novel by Sarah Perry. “in the end it was purpose I wanted, not achievement — you see the difference?” There are paths in life that take courage. One never finds true courage unless one is faced with loss and fear. I cannot recommend The Essex Serpent enough. I shout its beauty out and how it transformed my feelings into words. I am so lucky.

Here is the quote again:

“Sometimes I think I sold my soul, so that I can live as I must. Oh, I don't mean without morals or conscience- I only mean with freedom to think the thoughts that come, to send them where I want them to go, not to let them run along tracks someone else set, leading only this way or that...”

― Sarah Perry, The Essex Serpent.