Camus Quote

"The true horror of existence is not the fear of death, but the fear of life. It is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles, the same disappointments, the same pain. It is the fear that nothing will ever change, that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that you cannot escape. And in that fear, there is a desperation, a longing for something, anything, to break the monotony, to bring meaning to the endless repetition of days."

— Albert Camus, The Fall

So far, so good

My mother told me once that "disappointment" was a feeling that destroyed more dreams than failure. Genuine disappointment in people or personal expectations or predicament. Its cousins are frustration and despair. Disappointments are always cruel and sharp and cold. But she reminded me, there are worst things than disappointment and most of us, if we are lucky, only read about those things in books.

There is a cost to living and I've paid over and over.

 

“The best thing I ever did was not swim back to the boat. But where was I to go?” — Deborah Levy

Imagine your "defined and comfortable life" as the boat and suddenly, for whatever reason, you are out of the boat and in deep water swimming and you realize that not swimming back to the boat is the right thing to do. But where do you go? How will you define yourself? What or who or where will comfort you? Will you drown? These are the things some people CHOOSE to face. They usually do it after a crisis aka chaos. Most people will swim for the boat. But not Deborah Levy and not me. We float, I think.