Ambition

 

The Fall of Icarus, 1636, Rubens.

In mythology, Icarus was warned not to fly too low as well as too high. He ignored the first warning, then flew too high, and his wings melted in the sunlight. He fell into the sea and drowned, consumed by his own ambition.

It takes a lot of ambition, hubris, and bravado to write a big novel at this point in my life. Failing is always an option. Because I have nothing to lose at this stage but time, it is important for me to write on, depending on my own ambitions, even to the point of delusion. And while time is one of my most precious possessions, it faces two rivals, meaning and sanity.

Sometimes, we have to take a risk, we have to be willing to fail, we have to be willing to look foolish, or even waste time when time is running out. We feel we don't have any other choice.

And perhaps, that is the success of writing a big novel at this moment. The journey. Flying high. Flying low. Just flying at all.