When I was young, I wished that I would never grow up, and if I did, not too much. Just enough.

I was thinking about my weaknesses of character today. I suppose if I could offer two examples of that weakness it would be my love of Marc Chagall and Brian Molko, two artists that get mixed reviews and are considered "childish" with "narrow focuses" and a "nostalgia for childhood and/or adolescence." Often I wonder though if it's just their sense of amazement at life. I often consider myself a bride of amazement, and that the sum of my ambition is just that, Being amazed!- which I think describes both Chagall and Molko well. Perhaps that is my weakness and my attraction to their art. Some people don't even consider Chagall worthy. I adore him. Some people absolutely do not like Molko, I adore him also. And maybe that's the weakness of character, the idea that the three of us never really wanted to grow up. Laughing. It kind of spills over into my life in all ways. My love of superlatives, my ability to change my mind, the fact that half my life is just revision. I don't like burning bridges, etc. but I can and when I do, I never look back except in rare occasion and that includes most things I create. This is Chagall's Between Light and Darkness. It's really about desire and longing I think. And I feel that this is what I think about in life, in writing, in most things, and so does Molko when he writes his twisted little adolescent love songs. It's a weakness in some ways. And maybe my only strength, too. Let's not speak of Molko's depression. Or mine. When we are depressed, the world is gloomy. His depression is "wider" than my depression is. His is a psychological condition, where I experience a kind of depression in reaction to stress or situation. Chagall managed his better.