May 31, 2019

REAL CHANGE, DAY ONE

Love Among the Ruins by Edward Burns-Jones


(I posted this on the day after you died. Our love was in ruins. The next day I gave instructions on your cremation and not long after that, someone brought you home in a box. Ashes. The first year I was as much a ruin as our love, as you. The second might have been harder emotionally. The third is just sad. But I have to go back to my way of work. I can't sit here and cry anymore. I am cold, too damn cold. If I choose to stay with you, I'll freeze to death, turn to ice, go blue.  Oh, how I miss your kisses. Your breath was just a whisper against the back of my neck, but it always stirred such a storm.)

“So for now,
I will miss you like I’ll never see you again,
And the next time I see you,
I will kiss you like I’ll never kiss you again,
And when I fall asleep beside you 
I will fall asleep as if I’ll never wake up again,
because I don’t know if I will.
I don’t know if I will.

- I Will Love You Like The World Is Ending” 
― Charlotte Eriksson

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