Nov 26, 2022

Learning to Sleep

 

The Sleeping Beauty by Burne-Jones.

One of the things I have achieved over the last few years is how learning to sleep, which would change my life for the better. People who suffer from depression, or who do not adhere to any kind of schedule usually end up with insomnia and yes, bad sleeping habits. For years, due to medication mostly and habit, I was a night owl who liked to sleep until noon most days. And it became harder to maintain as I had children. I cheated even then, going back to sleep after my children went off to school. And then a doctor made me realize that insomnia was part of depression and if I embraced that, I might could change how I slept. I did not believe him but a few years ago I attempted to do what he said. It was really rough the first year, but the second year was better and the third, and now sixth year in, I am sleeping at night, sometimes falling asleep so naturally I cannot even believe it's happening. Of course, this meant controlling my caffeine consumption, knowing when I got over stimulated, and practicing, with some failure I might add. But now I am a sleeping beauty, so to speak.  It took me six years to change how I slept. It's a milestone for me.

One of the things to note here is how long it took me. Six years to really reach a natural new sleep pattern. 

Nov 24, 2022

The Past

“As much as I try to make the past keep still and mind its manners, it moves and murmurs with me through every day.”

— Deborah Levy, Swimming Home

Nov 19, 2022

One of my favorite passages from Lestat is prior to his change when he has a panic attack, literally, and experiences an Existential crisis. It's hilarious and I always laugh out loud. I have previously posted this. I love it.

“I realized aloud in the midst of saying it that even when we die we probably don't find the answer as to why we were ever alive. [...] Do you realize that! We'll never know why the hell any of it happened, not even when it's over! We're going to die and not even know. We'll never know, and all this meaningless will just go on and on and on. And we won't any longer be witnesses to it. We won't have even that little bit of power to give meaning to it in our minds. We'll just be gone, dead, dead, dead, without ever knowing.”

                                          — The Vampire Lestat
                                                (Anne Rice)

Nov 18, 2022

Wonder is my drug.

“We live in an age when you say casually to somebody 'What's the story on that?' and they can run to the computer and tell you within five seconds. That's fine, but sometimes I’d just as soon continue wondering. We have a deficit of wonder right now.” — Tom Waits

Nov 11, 2022

Artefact belonging to the Mads LaMotte Collection

THE MUNGO PATERNOSTER. Charred remains of alabasterite sculpture depicting the joined head of explorer Mungo Park and Death. Eleven ½ inch beads constructed of paper. Historians identified the original paper as loose scraps from Park’s journal, sold as religious charms in 1796 on Park’s return from Nigeria. See also Mungo Park 1799 Travels in the Interior of Africa. According to Mads LaMotte, the religious charms were no more than badly written phrases translated from undetermined passages of the Koran. In spite of this, the charms were soon discovered to be Indestructible and collected over a period of fifty years. How the charms became beads for the paternoster is debated. Mads LaMotte purchased the paternoster as part of a collection of personal property owned by adventurer George Hogg who died in 1945 at Shandan district in China. 

copyright © 2022 by Jane Harrington

Nov 5, 2022

A love like this is always possible.

“Don't fall in love with perfect things, without damage. Perfect things belong to everyone. Fall in love with shadows, cracks, distortions...that you feel belong to you. Fall in love with those who have learned to survive.” 

                                   — Valentina D'Urbano

Nov 3, 2022

The Yellow Tree 2022

 


This is my favorite tree and it's a much brighter, purer yellow and I suppose if I took a photo standing far off with the sunlight hitting it just perfectly, I would take the perfect photo. Nope. I like to stand under it and just feel amazed. It makes me feel all gooey inside and silly, like I am a girl again and I just discovered something for the first time and that something is transcendence and all that kind of nonsense. A yellow tree does that for me. A yellow tree.

The Orange Tree 2022


 I really don't do these trees justice. And since I stand under them, full of awe, I just click the phone camera and sigh. November 3, 2022. On my morning walk.

Nov 1, 2022

The Yellow Leaf

 


Beautiful morning walk. Lots of color everywhere and the bluest of skies. Clean and cool air. Friendly faces. It was almost euphoric in feeling and would have been completely that if I were not so present and looking outward, not within myself. The leaves were a riot of colors.

To say that you can't be wrong is probably wrong.

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."
                   —   Bertrand Russell